


Holding the Pose

by house_of_lantis



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Community: kradamadness, It’s cracky, M/M, Nudity, but fun! Language, public but artistic sex!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-12
Updated: 2011-09-19
Packaged: 2017-10-23 16:37:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/house_of_lantis/pseuds/house_of_lantis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris is in his last year at UC-Berkeley’s School of Music and he needs to come up with enough money to record his demo as part of his final portfolio project. He finds out that the eccentric Professor Simon Cowell is looking for a nude model for his senior seminar drawing course and Kris applies for the job, desperate for the money. What he didn’t know was that the job comes with a gorgeous male partner named Adam and that <b>all</b> of the poses are sexual.</p><p>Written for Kradamadness Performance based on a prompt by unfrosted_cake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Art Studio**

“Could you raise your knee a little higher, Kris? Back in position, please,” Professor Simon Cowell intoned nasally.

“I’ll help you,” Adam whispered against his ear, his hand cupping under Kris’s knee, raising his leg gently, opening him up to the view of the eleven students standing around the dais as they sketched quickly.

Professor Cowell scowled as he walked behind the students, his eyes sharp on their papers. “Look, people, this is a senior seminar drawing class. I assumed that you signed up for this class with some talent for drawing anatomy but I’m not seeing any talent here and I’m wondering why you’re even majoring in fine arts in the first place. And furthermore—“

Kris zoned out, ignoring Professor Cowell as he continued to berate his students. He swallowed hard and bit his lower lip, trying to control his breathing. He closed his eyes, feeling the hard swell of Adam inside of him, his cock nudging against his prostate. He felt his chest flush with warmth and he reached for Adam’s hand, curled under his head, squeezing his fingers to signal to Adam that he was getting close.

“Okay,” Adam whispered, pulling his hips back a little, giving Kris a moment to catch his breath from the unrelenting pleasure that was building inside of him.

He let out a soft breath of relief and opened his eyes, turning his head slightly to meet Adam’s pretty blue eyes. “Thanks, man.”

Adam squeezed his hand under Kris’s knee in response, his chest moving against his back as he stifled his soft laugh.

***

 **Two Weeks Earlier  
Professor Paula Abdul’s Office  
School of Music **

“You’re kidding?” Kris said, his mouth dropping as he stared at his senior seminar professor.

“It’ll cost $8,000 to book four sessions at the studio, but Kris, it’ll be worth whatever financial sacrifices you make to get your demo album recorded,” Professor Paula Abdul said, curling her hands over her desk, smiling at him. “And it’s not just a demo for your portfolio project, it’s something that you can use to showcase your talents.”

“I don’t have that kind of money, Professor Abdul.”

“And I understand that – I wouldn’t ask you to try and find a way to find the funds to pay for the studio time but I feel strongly that you have what it takes to make a career in music, Kristopher.” She sighed, sitting back in her chair. “I think you bring something fresh and new to the industry; you have a real gift and I’d hate to see you lose your chance.”

Kris was alternately pleased and then crushed; he did want a career in music, but like all starving artists, he didn’t have enough to cut a quality demo, the kind that he could shop around. It was a catch-22 – he needed money to cut a demo to show agents that he could make music and make money, but he needed money in order to do that and…

“What should I do?”

“Have you considered asking your family for assistance?”

Kris shook his head. “I know my parents would help, but I don’t want to ask them. I mean, they’re paying for my tuition and everything and being an out-of-state student, that’s not cheap.”

“You could apply for a number of grants.”

He ran his hand over his hair and sighed. “I could, but that could take months and my classes end in May. I mean, I’m graduating this summer.”

Paula gave him a kind smile. “Why don’t you go see Professor Cowell? I heard that he’s looking for a new model for his senior seminar art class.”

Kris raised his eyebrows. “Uh, doesn’t Professor Cowell teach, uh, nude figure drawing for the School of Erotic Fine Arts?”

She chuckled. “Yes…and he pays $1,000 per session and I know that he needs a model to cover the next 15 sessions.”

Kris swallowed and blinked. “Wow…that’s…”

“That could cover more than just your studio time.”

“Yeah,” he said, taking a deep breath. “So I just, uh, get naked and have people stare at me and draw me?”

Paula rolled her eyes. “It is nude figure drawing.”

Kris clenched his hands, a shuddery flutter in his stomach. “I don’t know…”

“Look, Kristopher, you’re going to graduate with Honors and your portfolio is good enough as it is,” she said, reassuringly. “I wouldn’t push you towards getting your demo done if I didn’t truly believe that you’d be a marketable artist in the industry. And you’re going to need a strong demo if I’m going to introduce you to a few of my industry contacts.”

Kris stared at her. “You—you would?”

“Of course I would,” she said, nodding. “Just think about it, okay?”

He nodded, a little dazed and pleased. “Thank you.”

***

 **Professor Simon Cowell’s Office  
School of Fine Arts **

Kris hurried up the stairs to the third floor, scanning the names of professors and offices on the display board at the top of the staircase. Professor Simon Cowell, room 3125. He turned right and realized that the numbers were going in the wrong way and spun around, heading down the other end of the hallway.

Professor Simon Cowell was pretty infamous at Berkeley. He was English and, depending on who you asked, he was a sadistic and cruel demon or the funniest guy on campus. Kris wasn’t sure but he wasn’t going to take any chances. He ran his hand over his head and knocked on the door.

“Enter.”

He took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping in the professor’s large and immaculately clean office. “Hi, Professor Cowell?”

“What do you want?” He said, staring at Kris.

“I…Professor Abdul said that you were looking for a model for your, um, nude figure drawing class. I thought I’d, uh, apply for the position?”

The Professor leaned back in his chair and gave Kris a long look, his eyes narrowing as he took in Kris’s messy hair, his plaid shirt, down to his baggy jeans and tattered sneakers.

“Turn around,” he said, motioning his hand in the air.

Kris sighed and turned slowly and then faced the professor again.

“I have a two hour long session on Tuesdays and a five hour long session on Thursdays. They require you to be naked the whole time and you’ll have a partner—“

“A partner?”

The professor rolled his eyes. “If you’re not comfortable with this arrangement, there’s the door. I have more than enough boys wanting to work for me as a nude model and—“

“No, no, I’ll do it,” Kris said, quickly. “It’s fine. Partner, sure, whatever you need.”

He stared at Kris for a long moment. “It pays $1,000 on Tuesdays and $1,500 on Thursdays. I need you for approximately 12 to 15 sessions. Is that acceptable?”

Kris smiled, shakily. “Yes, sir.”

Simon smirked. “And I will require you to bring me a recent medical exam and blood work clearing you of any and all diseases.”

“Okay,” he said, making a face. Why would that matter? But whatever, it was going to be more than enough to pay for his studio time to cut the demo; the extra could go to buying a new guitar. It was going to be worth sitting around naked with someone else while a bunch of art students drew pictures of him with his junk showing.

“Be at my drawing studio in room 3120 on Tuesday at 10 in the morning. I would like to have your medical information no later than this Friday and you can sign your contract at that time.”

Kris smiled, nodding. “Thank you, Professor Cowell, I really appreciate—“

“Yes, yes, that is all,” Simon said, looking at the book on his desk, waving Kris towards the door.

Kris closed the door softly behind him and leaned against the wall, biting his lip and grinning so hard that he felt his face hurt. It was going to be a lot of money – more than he expected – and it was going to be worth every minute of embarrassment. He was motivated to make this work. He was going to do this. He was totally ready.

***

 **Art Studio  
Tuesday**

Kris breathlessly ran up the three flights of stairs and ran down the hallway to Professor Cowell’s art studio. He slammed into the door, groaning when his shoulder hit the metal edge pushing it open and nearly fell to the floor. He caught himself and looked up, panting harshly, as a dozen people stared at him, amusement on their faces.

Professor Cowell sighed. “A graceful entrance.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry for being late. I was with Professor Abdul and lost track of time,” he mumbled, feeling kind of stupid. Not exactly a good first impression. And Kris wanted to make a good first impression. He had showered and shaved and…trimmed his pubes and everything. He didn’t want to be embarrassed in front of his partner for being unkempt or smelling bad. But having to run across campus, he was sweaty and damp and probably smelled bad. So much for making a good impression.

“The dressing area is through the door there. Please be quick.”

Kris nodded and slipped into the room. He took a deep breath to steady himself. He could do this. He could _totally_ do this. He was a pretty mature guy who wasn’t going to act stupid with the girl he was partnered with; he was going to be respectful and professional and only put his hands on her with her full consent. He felt good about his body and he wasn’t going to feel ashamed. Besides, he told himself, they didn’t know him and it wasn’t like they were going to judge him for doing this. He needed money to pay for studio time and they needed to practice their drawing. It was a win-win situation.

Quickly, he undressed and pulled out some deodorant and put some under his armpits. He tried to dry some of the sweat off his head and neck, using his plaid shirt to wipe himself down. He dug through his jeans pockets and pulled out a piece of gum, sticking it into his mouth. He unrolled his blue terrycloth robe from his backpack and slipped into it. He folded his clothes and placed everything on one side of the small room. He clenched his hands into tight fists and opened the door, stepping out into the studio.

Okay, this was show time and Kris was going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine.

The dozen or so students were arranged in various positions around the…was that a bed? No, it was some kind of platform or dais and there was a twin sized mattress on it. Clean white sheets covered the mattress. There were a couple of small pillows on the floor. And a small table behind it had an empty bowl – why was there an empty bowl – a box of tissues and…lube?

What was the lube for?

“Ah, Kris, I wanted to introduce you to your partner,” the Professor said, waving him towards a tall guy – GUY? – dressed in a black silk robe.

Kris stared. And gulped. His partner was a dude! He was going to be naked with a guy…a guy who was pretty freaking gorgeous. He gulped again.

“This is Adam Lambert,” Professor Cowell said, giving the tall, dark haired guy a small smile. “Adam, this is Kris Allen.”

“Hi Kris! It’s really nice to meet you and I just want to say that I’m looking forward to working with you in these sessions this semester,” Adam said, cheerfully, holding out his hand.

Kris shook it automatically and he tried to talk but nothing was coming out. At least Adam wasn’t leering at him or talking to him like…like he was going to get to see Kris naked.

 **HE WAS GOING TO SEE KRIS NAKED!**

“Uhh…”

“Well, get into your first position and we’ll begin,” the Professor said, waving towards the platform.

“All right, Simon,” Adam said, happily.

Kris turned, watching as Adam strolled purposefully towards the platform, shucking off his silk robe and tossing it on a nearby chair. He raised his arms and stood on his tip toes, stretching out his back, bending from side to side, and making what sounded like a very naughty sound. Kris swallowed, his face heating up, and parts of his body completely happy with the idea that he was going to be naked with Adam.

Adam got on the mattress and fell on his back, looking utterly comfortable with being naked in a roomful of people. Kris looked at the students and they were busy getting their art supplies and papers set up on their easels. It was like…like this was not a big deal for them.

“Today’s session will be about the form,” Professor Cowell said, walking around the students.

Adam turned his head and looked at Kris, giving him a quizzical look.

“Oh,” he murmured, hurrying towards the platform, his hands untying the sash around his waist. He glanced up at Adam and found him just watching him. Adam gave him what looked like a friendly smile and Kris bit his lip, not looking at anyone as he undid his robe and shimmied out of it, tossing it over Adam’s robe on the chair. For a moment, he thought of dropping his hands in front of his stuff and—

“Um, Kris, you’re going to need to get on the platform with Adam. I’d like to begin the class now,” the Professor droned, looking at him. “This is not the place for first time jitters.”

Oh Lord. Kris sat down on the edge of the mattress and looked at Adam. “What—“

“Just lay on your back here,” Adam said, patting the space as he got to his knees.

“Oh, um, okay,” Kris said, moving sideways and laying down with his knees folded up, feet on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling and wondered what the heck—

He felt Adam’s warm hands on his knees, pushing his legs apart and Kris’s eyes nearly popped out of his head as he gasped, watching as Adam moved closer to him.

“What—what—what—“

Adam smiled. “It’s okay. We’re just going to be rubbing and moving against each other. We do this for about 30 minutes and then we get a break. And then we do three more poses until the session is over.”

Kris just stared at him and swallowed, feeling Adam’s…oh Lord, that was Adam’s…what in the **heck** was this class supposed to be! Nude figure drawing, right? Well, okay, he was nude – Adam was nude – and there was rubbing? What—what—what – okay, Kris really needed to figure out how to complete a thought.

Professor Cowell cleared his throat, staring at them. “This is your first position?”

Kris didn’t know what to say but Adam saved them by turning to look at the Professor.

“Give your students a minute to warm up, shesh,” Adam said, chuckling softly. “It’s only the first day of class.”

“Fine,” the Professor said, rolling his eyes. “As if they couldn’t draw this position in their sleep. You do realize that this is a senior seminar class.” He turned to face his students and Kris took a moment to look at the people watching him and he realized that they looked pretty terrified. “I don’t expect to be impressed by you lot, but at the end of this semester, I do expect you to be able to put rudimentary basics of drawing on paper in the erotic arts—“

Erotic arts?

Kris made some kind of noise and he swallowed, closing his eyes.

“Don’t let Simon get to you. He’s all bark.” Adam whispered, petting his hair. “You okay?”

He shook his head slightly and then opened his eyes, looking up at Adam. His eyes were very blue and he was very pretty up close. He bit his lip slowly as Adam moved down over him, holding up his own weight by his elbows, planted beside Kris’s shoulders. He shuffled a little closer and let his hips press down against Kris, Adam’s warm body pressing against Kris’s very interested cock. He held very still, trying not to arch or squirm or beg Adam to do more than just press against him.

“Oh Lord,” he whispered, mortified. He could feel his cheeks turning red.

Adam gave him a kind smile. “It’s kind of the point of the class.”

***

As soon as they had their first break, Kris grabbed his robe, throwing it on as he raced to the safety of the small dressing room. He panted, sitting down on a chair, hands running over his head. He heard the door open and he looked up to see Adam coming into the room, holding two bottles of water in his hands. He handed one to Kris.

“Thank you,” Kris mumbled, taking it. He took a long drink and stared at the floor.

“You really didn’t know what you were signing up for, did you?” Adam said, softly.

Kris glanced up at him and shook his head. “I knew it was going to be nude modeling, I just didn’t know it was going to be…you know.”

Adam gave a small chuckle and sat down on a nearby chair. He tucked the ends of his black silk robe over his lap, long legs stretched out in front of him. “I’ve been modeling for Simon for three years and he’s okay. And the class is okay – they’re all pretty respectful and serious about their art so whatever we do in these sessions…it’s all professional and…safe?”

Kris swallowed and nodded. “Okay. Uh. Okay.”

“Anyway, I’m glad to have a few minutes with you,” he said, turning to look at Kris. “I just wanted to talk about the next three poses and see what works for you.”

He stifled a sound, grabbing the sash of his robe. “Okay?”

“I’d like the next pose to be with you on your knees and I’ll be kneeling behind you. Then the pose after that, I’d like it if you’d sit over me and lean back on your hands. Are you flexible? I mean, can you hold a pose like that for thirty minutes?”

Kris made some kind of gurgling noise, feeling his ears buzz. He nodded and drank more of the water.

“And for the last one, I’d like to be on top and have our legs kind of be tangled up,” he said, matter-of-factly.

“I…okay.”

“Okay.”

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in!” Adam called as they both looked up to see the pretty girl with the red-purple hair pop her head into the room. “Hey, Alli.”

“Professor Cowell said to have you guys come back out,” she said, brightly.

“Thanks.” Adam said, getting to his feet. He turned to look at Kris and gave him a pretty smile. “Ready?”

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. “Yeah.”

***

Later, Kris grabbed his robe and ran for the dressing room. He got dressed quickly and sat down to pull on his socks and sneakers when the door opened. Adam grinned as he walked towards the other side of the small room, shucking off his robe and pulling on his clothes. Kris kept his eyes on the floor, giving Adam some sense of privacy – not that there wasn’t _anything_ he hadn’t seen of the guy. Kris didn’t know if he had ever been this awkward before.

“I’ll, uh, um, see you—“

“Hey, don’t go yet. Simon wanted to talk to us,” Adam said, looking over his shoulder.

“Okay. I’ll just give you a moment, you know, uh, be outside waiting.” Kris said, grabbing his stuff and shoving it into his backpack and getting out of the room. He took a deep breath, seeing the studio empty except for the Professor who was walking around the easels, staring at someone’s works.

“Kris, good, we’ll wait for Adam, shall we?”

“Sure.” He said, clutching the backpack on his shoulder. He had to admit that he was curious so he stepped behind the row of easels, glancing at the sketches clipped on it. His eyes widened as he stared at the drawings. He felt his mouth go dry as he stared at the long lines of Adam’s back and Kris’s legs curled over his hip. Each student had their own style and some were more detailed, some less so, but all of them…beautifully rendered.

The door opened and closed and he turned to see Adam dressed in black jeans, a gray t-shirt, black boots. His hair looked shaggy and he wore eyeliner around his eyes. Kris sighed to himself – Adam was gorgeous wearing clothes.

“Look, Kris, I don’t think this is working out,” the Professor droned, staring at him.

Kris frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Thursday’s session is going to be penetrative sexual positions,” he said, raising his eyebrow.

Kris gulped. _Penetrative!_

“You and Adam going to be in intimate positions, fuck for a few minutes, and then hold that pose,” Professor Cowell said, his voice bored and direct. “I don’t feel that you are able to do this.”

“I can do it. I can, Professor, really,” he said, wincing slightly.

He watched as the Professor looked over at Adam, quirking his eyebrow.

“I believe him,” Adam said, firmly.

Professor Cowell sighed. “Fine. Then you work with him, Adam. If Thursday’s session goes anything like today’s, we’re going to have to find someone else.”

Adam nodded. “It’s fine. It’s just first time jitters. Kris and I will work it out, okay?”

“Hmmm.”

Kris bit his upper lip as he looked at Adam, giving him a grateful smile.

“Come on, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee at the Student Union and we can talk,” Adam said, looking at him.

***

 **Student Union**

“So this is your first time modeling nude?”

Kris blushed and nodded, looking up at Adam as he swallowed down his iced coffee. “Yeah.”

Adam took a deep breath and sighed. “I can’t believe Simon didn’t tell you the extent of the sessions.”

“Uh, I really didn’t give him a chance? I accepted before knowing, uh, what I’d be doing,” he said, shrugging. “And I thought I was just going to be standing around naked with a woman, not…having sex with a guy.”

Adam was quiet and he stared at Kris for a long moment. “Have you ever had sex with a guy before?”

“No,” he said, laughing nervously. “I thought it was pretty obvious.”

“I don’t make assumptions about people’s sexuality,” he said, softly. “God, Kris…I don’t think your first time should be in front of a roomful of strangers – unless that’s like a kink of yours or something.”

Kris shook his head. “I...I’m attracted to guys and…my bisexuality is more theoretical at this point than anything, uh, practical?”

“Look, Kris, maybe this is a bad idea—“

“I need the money,” he said, looking at Adam. “I’m a music major and for my portfolio, I wanted to cut a demo and I need the money that I’ll get from the modeling sessions to pay for studio time.”

Adam nodded, thoughtfully. “I totally get that. I’m not judging or anything.”

“I didn’t think you were,” he said, offering Adam a smile. “And besides, it’s totally a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

“Having sex shouldn’t be a sacrifice, Kris. Are you sure you want to do this?”

Kris wanted to say no; but he also wanted to say that if he was going to lose his virginity, he kind of didn’t mind that it was with Adam. “Yeah, I’m sure. Look, I’m okay with it. I mean, I’m not _okay_ but I can do it.”

Adam nodded and then dug into his bag, pulling out a sheet of paper. “This is the schedule for the sessions. Tuesdays are non-penetrative poses; Thursdays are full-blown sex.”

Kris took it and let out a deep breath. “Thanks, Adam.”

“Look, I’ve got to get going,” Adam said, picking up his bag and drink and standing up.

“Okay.”

Adam sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before looking at Kris. “I—I’ll be careful, okay? It’s just that…you should lose your virginity to someone who loves you and cares about you.”

Kris didn’t know what to say so he just nodded, feeling his face heat up again. Adam gave him another pretty smile and nodded back.

“See you Thursday.”

“Okay.”

Kris watched as Adam made his way out of the Student Union. He was taller than most and with his dark hair and…the sexy and confident way that he prowled across the room, Kris wasn’t surprised that a lot of people – guys and girls – turned to watch Adam leave. He sighed to himself, staring into his coffee cup. In any other situation, Kris would’ve agreed with Adam – he did want to lose his virginity to someone who did love him – but he was willing to let it be Adam. He had a feeling that Adam _would_ take care of him and wouldn’t do anything to hurt him or embarrass him in front of the art students.

It was going to be fine. He really could do this. He was going to be able to handle this. He was a mature adult who could have sex in front of a bunch of strangers and let them draw pictures of him doing it. He was fine. He was…oh Lord, he was going to be having sex with Adam for the first time in front of strangers!

He dropped his forehead on top of the table and knocked his head a few times on it. What the heck was he thinking? He wasn’t going to be able to handle it! If anything, he was going to end up falling in love with Adam and – dang it! Did Adam have to be so fricking adult and mature and professional about this? Just how many people did Adam do this with? He said he had modeled for Simon for a few years! For goodness sakes, how many guys did Adam…ugh! Kris shook his head against the table and sighed.

This was going to end badly, he just knew it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Art Studio  
Thursday **

Kris was almost an hour early this time. He was distracted by the idea that he and Adam would spend five hours together in sexy poses – okay, not just sexy poses but having sex. His lower belly shivered and trembled and he felt his arms and legs go numb and then hot with the idea that he would be doing this with Adam, a guy he met two days ago. Kris wasn’t the type of guy to do one night stands and just the idea of having sex with Adam with an audience…he wasn’t sure if he was developing a new kink or if he was scared out of his head.

So he came to the art studio early, changed out of his clothes, and sat down trying to work through his nerves. For the past four years at UC-Berkeley, Kris was focused entirely on music and volunteering at local shelters, teaching kids how to play guitar and piano, and working as a TA for Dr Abdul. The one thing that kept him going was his love of music, sometimes to the exclusion of anything else, and no matter how many times he wanted to call Professor Cowell to quit the modeling job, he couldn’t stop thinking about how the money would pay for his studio time. He knew he’d regret it if he let the opportunity to record his demo slipped through his grasp.

And, of course, he could admit to himself that he couldn’t stop thinking about Adam: Pretty, gorgeous, hot, out-of-his-league Adam.

He was tapping out a melody for a song that he was working on when Adam slipped into the small dressing room. He looked at Kris with surprise, but a warm smile formed on his face, and he dropped his bag on the other side of the room.

“Hey,” he said, softly.

Kris grinned at him, feeling shy. “Hi.”

Adam kicked off his shoes and started unbuttoning his shirt so Kris turned his head, staring at his bared toes on the floor, giving Adam some privacy.

“It’s going to be a long session today,” he said, his voice low and melodic. “I’d recommend that you do some stretches.”

“Why? Planning to put me into some kind of pretzel position?” He said, trying for light and funny. He winced when it sounded scared and creepy.

He looked up to see Adam shirtless – miles of smooth skin and freckles everywhere – oh Lord, the freckles – his belt was undone, and he was just staring at Kris. He flicked his eyes away, feeling lightheaded with nerves.

“Look, Kris, there’s no reason why you need to do. If you’re uncomfortable or creeped out by me or this job, you don’t have to do it. In fact, **please** don’t do it. Simon takes this very seriously – I take this very seriously, it’s why I’ve been asked to come back and model every semester – so if you can’t do this, it’s okay. Not everyone can do this type of modeling. _Believe me_. It was really weird for me the first time I did it—“

“Why do you do it?” Kris said, looking up at him to see that he was wearing his black silk robe now. He watched as Adam sat down on the old sofa, stretching out his legs.

“Well, the money _is_ great,” Adam said, shrugging. “And it gets me out of my head.”

“You don’t get off on it?”

Adam quirked his lips into a small smile. “Well, I’m not going to deny that it feels good, but it’s not like I’m having sex, even when it is sex. It’s just…using my body and going into a pose and getting out of my head.” He scratched his knee. “And to be honest, I’m not attracted to the guys that I model with. I don’t cross that line, you know?”

A part of Kris tightened and died just a little at that. A part of Kris was hoping that if he and Adam were to…have sex, that things would change between them – that maybe Adam would like to have sex with him _without_ an audience. But Adam didn’t see him as anything but a model, a partner that he had sex with, but didn’t have any kind of connection to outside of the studio.

“Then how do you…”

Adam let out a small laugh. “Like I said, it is a job and I know how to do this job so that Simon and the students get what they need for the pose.”

“Oh.”

“Kris…I know you said that you needed the money for your portfolio, but are you sure this is worth it? I don’t want you to end up, you know, hating having sex with a guy or hating me or…I don’t know…regretting your decision? Don’t force yourself to be here if you can get your demo done some other way.”

He looked up to see Adam watching him, his face tense with worry. “Thanks for that, for being professional about this.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “To be honest, I think I’ll regret it more if I didn’t take this opportunity to get my demo album created.”

Adam looked away and nodded quickly. Kris thought he was…disappointed?

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think I could ever hate you, you know, for doing this, um, with me,” Kris mumbled, his voice low and quiet.

He heard Adam inhale sharply and Kris watched as he bit his lip, breathing deeply and slowly.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but I hope you can trust me,” Adam said, meeting his eyes.

Kris offered him a small smile. He was still nervous as all get out, but he trusted Adam. “I do.”

“Thanks,” Adam said, plucking at his robe with his fingers.

***

 **Author’s Note** : I feel that I should warn for slight dub-con because Kris is so nervous and he says no at some point (and Adam does stop immediately). And though Kris does consent, I think because of his desperation to get the money to make the demo album puts him in a position where he can’t quit this job, I want to warn for dub-con.

 

Kris knew what to expect. Of course he had watched gay and straight porn and he knew the basics, he knew about prepping, he knew that Tab A went into Slot B – or in his case Slot C. He knew all of that. The night before, he had experimented in the privacy of his bedroom, with his fingers and lube. He closed his eyes and held his breath, reaching back to touch his flesh, biting his pillow as he jerked off frantically and coming in just minutes with only the tip of his finger inside of him. He fell back on his bed, staring at the ceiling in a daze as he discovered something new about his body. What would it feel like with something bigger – with Adam inside of him? Not to mention that Adam was pretty big, that he had felt like a thick and meaty club pressing against Kris. That thought alone had him hard again and he moaned, grabbing his cock and stroking himself quickly until he came all over his bed sheets.

So he knew what to expect when Adam carefully moved him on his back on the mattress, propping one of the cushions under his hips and angling his hips. He knew what to expect when Adam arranged his legs, propping his calves against his shoulders. He knew what to expect when Adam grabbed the condom and the bottle of lube from the low table beside the dais. He knew what to expect when Adam gazed down at him, his eyes full of concern but his smile was easy and reassuring.

“Ready?”

Just because he knew what to expect didn’t mean that Kris was ready.

He bit his lip and shook his head. “No? I—I’m not sure…”

Adam frowned and nodded, sitting back on his heels and gently lowering Kris’s legs to the side of him. “Simon, I’m going to need a minute. Could you ask the class to go out in the hall?”

“What? No, Adam, I’m not going to—“

“This is a five hour session. I think you can afford to give me five minutes.”

“Oh Lord.” Kris flung his arm over his face, his other hand gripping the sheet. He was mortified and embarrassed and he felt bad for not being able to do this, that he wasn’t doing his job and he wasn’t being professional when Adam was so completely professional about everything. “Sorry.”

“Shh, don’t apologize,” Adam said to him, hand petting Kris’s leg gently.

“Adam,” Professor Cowell said, impatiently. “This is unacceptable—“

“Just give us five minutes or I’m going to walk,” Adam said, sharply.

The Professor glared at him. “Fine,” he said, tersely. “Everyone, out in the hallway for five minutes.”

Kris heard the sounds of footsteps moving out of the classroom and the door closing loudly. He sighed and flung his other arm over his face.

“You didn’t have to do that. I don’t want you to ruin your working relationship with Professor Cowell.”

“It’s my last semester doing this.” Adam said, snorting. “And as if Simon’s going to hold it against me for kicking them out of the room. He trusts me to know what to do.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, wondering how many other times Adam had to get people to leave the room because he had to deal with a jittery modeling partner.

“Kris, look at me. Please?”

Kris pulled his arms away and stared up at Adam, shaking his head. “I just didn’t know…”

“I know. I _totally_ know that you’re feeling kind of raw and open right now.” Adam sighed and gave him a tight smile. He reached down and rubbed his hand on Kris’s head. “You want to stop?”

Kris shook his head. “I can do this.”

“Forcing yourself to do this is—look, Kris—“

“It’s okay,” he smiled up at Adam, grateful for his concern. “Adam, I’m okay. Just go slow?”

“Okay. Do something for me, okay?

“Hmm?”

“Can you turn on your side and move your top leg up a little?”

Kris made a panicky noise and Adam gave a soft chuckle.

“I promise I’m not going to hurt you, but turn on your side.” He reached out and took one of Kris’s hands, holding it. “Please trust me, okay? You said you trusted me and I promised that I wasn’t going to hurt you. I’ll try to make it a good experience but…I just need you to trust me right now. Please?”

Kris was a by-the-gut kind of guy and his gut was saying that Adam was trustworthy. He met Adam’s eyes and then nodded, turning slowly so that he was on his left side, his right leg bent up a little. Adam slipped in behind him, spreading out the extra sheet and pulling it over their heads, giving Kris the illusion of privacy, even though they were alone in the studio. Kris turned to look at him over his shoulder, wondering what he was doing.

“Shhh…I’m just going to touch you and help you with your nervousness,” he whispered against his ear.

Kris bit back a moan when he felt Adam’s warm hand glide over his hip, gently wrapping a large hand around his cock. He closed his eyes and grabbed the sheets on the mattress, his hips moving automatically, shoving his hardening cock into Adam’s hand.

“I don’t want to be unprofessional, but I think you need this to relax,” Adam said, kindly.

He swallowed thickly as Adam’s hand squeezed and stroked his cock with firm and knowing movements. His eyes squeezed shut as he buried his face into the pillow, muffling the loud moans coming out of his mouth. His entire body flushed with heat as he felt Adam turn him a little more so that his chest was pressed against the mattress, holding him close as he quickened his strokes, warm lips brushing against the nape of Kris’s neck. It was enough to push him over and Kris let out a grunt as he came in Adam’s hand.

He breathed noisily, eyes closed as he felt Adam push the sheet off and move up on his knees. Kris heard the crinkle of plastic as Adam pulled out tissues, carefully wiping Kris clean. He made a soft noise and buried more of his face into the pillow.

“Don’t freak out but I’m going to prep you before they come back inside, okay?” Adam said, shakily. “I should’ve asked you to do this yourself but…I didn’t know it was going to be…can I touch you, Kris?”

Kris nodded into the pillow and lifted one of his hands, motioning that it was okay for Adam to go near his butt. He even turned into the mattress, shifting his legs a little so that Adam would be able to see him better.

“I was hoping that getting you off would relax your muscles a little so just breathe deeply and don’t over think this, okay?”

He was relaxed; like his arms and legs were warm and heavy but his skin felt alive, tingling, waiting for Adam to touch him. He kept his eyes closed and he turned his face on the pillow so that he could breathe easier. His hand clutched the edge of the mattress when he heard Adam snap open the lube, the squelchy sound of it being squeezed out, and the soft thump of it dropping on the mattress nearby. Adam pushed his leg up a little higher, bending at the knee, and Kris bit his lip and moaned, feeling incredibly exposed, but arching his back as Adam slipped his finger into him.

He clenched down hard and shuddered, the slight ache turning into pleasure as his cock hardened again. He panted, noises escaping from his throat.

“Jesus,” Adam whispered, harshly. Kris moaned when he felt Adam’s finger move all the way into him and then pull all the way out. He whimpered when he felt another finger push in together and Adam cursed under his breath, moving his fingers in and out of Kris.

Kris flung his head back when Adam pressed in three fingers. He blinked his eyes open and stared at the high ceiling of the studio. His eyes flickered over to Adam and he swallowed, staring into Adam’s eyes, blushing hard when Adam looked at him like he wanted to eat him alive. Kris licked his lips and swallowed, his mouth opening as he panted, wishing that Adam would just lean over and kiss him. He was so open, so overwhelmed, that a kiss would really make him feel better. He watched as Adam’s eyes moved down to look at his mouth and Kris closed his eyes slightly as he felt Adam’s breath on his cheek, the heat of him moving closer and—

 **KNOCK! KNOCK!**

“Adam, for god’s sake, are you done yet?” The Professor yelled, annoyed and short-tempered.

Kris opened his eyes to see that Adam was back to being professional. He sighed and sank back against the pillow, biting his lower lip when he felt Adam’s fingers slip gently out of him.

“Do you think you’re ready now?”

Kris licked his lips and nodded. “Yeah.”

Adam cleared his throat. “All right, Simon, you guys can come back in now!”

The door opened immediately and Kris closed his eyes, keeping his head on the pillow but his face turned away from the class as he heard them shuffling into the room and getting behind their easels.

“Finally,” the Professor said, grumpily. “Today, you’re going to be concentrating at capture movement and motion. In the erotic fine arts, this is particularly important as bodies are constantly moving and changing positions. The goal here is not to capture every single detail as this is not a pornography class, but to capture the essence of the bodies as they come together and apart…”

Kris sighed as Adam pressed him on his tummy, hands on his hips as he pulled Kris to his knees. A warm hand braced him on his shoulders, keeping him pressed down. Kris balanced his weight on his forearms and his forehead, breathing deeply as he heard Adam roll on a fresh condom and the slick of the lube being spread. He felt more lube being rubbed around his opening and he caught his breath when he felt Adam’s body shift and move behind him, the hard thickness of his cock pressing inside of him slowly but steadily.

He groaned loudly, unable to keep it in, and he pressed his hand over his mouth as Adam moved all the way inside of him, opening him up wide, his cock long and thick and meaty – just like in his fantasies. Kris shuddered, his body opening for Adam in a way that he didn’t know was possible. And it ached a little, but the lube was cool and made everything slippery and easy. He made a throaty hiss as Adam pulled back and then pushed in deeper.

His hands clutched at the pillow as he panted loudly. He felt Adam curl over him, his cock brushing against his prostate at the new angle, and he clenched around Adam’s cock, whimpering in pleasure.

“If you need to me to stop, just tell me,” Adam whispered into his ear.

Kris hid his face between his arms and nodded.

“Ignore everything else and just concentrate on me, okay?”

Like he could think about anything or anyone else than Adam. He had forgotten that anyone else was in the room. He nodded again and muffled his moan as Adam moved back up to his knees, hands gripping his hips as he undulated his hips, his cock moving in and out of Kris in what felt like a wave.

 _Oh my Lord, he was doing this!_ He pushed back with his hips and groaned again at the feel of Adam’s cock pressing against his prostate. Kris flushed red all over and he bit the pillow, desperate to stay quiet.

He was so turned on. He could feel his own cock hard and hot against his belly, wet with pre-come as Adam nailed his prostate with every thrust. He didn’t know if he was allowed to come and he was beyond any kind of self-consciousness now, wishing he could curl his hand around himself and jerk off and come.

Before he could do anything, he felt Adam slip out of him completely and he was astonished by how _open_ he felt and he nearly begged Adam to get back inside of him, filling him, when he felt gentle hands turn him on his back, moving his legs so that they were around Adam’s hips. He looked up and met Adam’s eyes, his eyes nearly black, a fine mist of sweat on his face and chest, black hair sticking to his forehead. It was so intense to look into Adam’s eyes, watching him as he watched Kris, and everything felt so out of his control, like he was pinned by pleasure. Kris opened his mouth and gasped when he felt Adam move back inside of him.

Distantly, he heard the frantic scratching of pencils, papers dropping to the floor, but all Kris could see was Adam. He moved over Kris, hands on either side of his shoulders as he leaned down, thrusting into Kris harder and faster, jaw clenched tightly as he stared at Kris.

Kris curled his legs higher on Adam’s hips and raised his pelvis, eyes closing as it put him in the perfect position for hitting his prostate. He tossed his head back on the pillow, mouth open, teeth biting down on his lip, hands clutching the sheets beside him.

Adam panted and stopped.

Kris made a mewling sound and arched into Adam, wanting more.

“Shhhh…wait, let them catch up,” Adam whispered, licking his lips and trembling slightly.

Let who catch up? Kris didn’t care about anyone needing to catch up. He needed Adam to keep thrusting into him. His cock was hard and wet and he needed to come.

Kris tightened his legs on Adam’s hips and he clenched his muscles around his cock, breathing heavily, wanting more.

Adam gritted his teeth and threw back his head. Kris couldn’t stop watching him and he wanted to put his hands on Adam and touch him everywhere, but he kept them in place. Adam dropped his head to stare down at Kris and Kris closed his eyes, his body tightening with pleasure, his toes curling under, as he let out another needy groan and came without a single touch.

“Damn it,” Adam hissed through his clenched teeth. Kris felt his shiver, but he was still hard and thick. “Don’t move. Keep your legs there.”

Adam dropped his head and looked between their bodies. Kris moved his head back and swallowed dryly, blinking his eyes and staring up at nothing. He felt Adam thrust and thrust and then stop again, catching his breath. Kris wanted to drop his legs on the mattress and just roll around in pleasure, but then Adam gave him a hard thrust and he gasped, automatically tightening his legs around Adam’s hips. He looked down as Adam looked up and met his eyes and felt his cock harden again.

He didn’t even know he could get it up again and a small smirk formed on Adam’s lips for a brief moment before falling away as he dropped his mouth open, leaning his head back. Kris dug his heel into the fleshy part of Adam’s butt and bit back a moan when Adam sat back, his hands curling under his knees and pulling his legs away and back so that he was splayed open now. Kris reached up over his head and gripped the edge of the mattress with both of his hands, hiding his face against his arm as Adam started to move back and forth, his long length still hard and hot inside him, and ruthlessly moving against his prostate again. His cock was getting harder and he was sensitive everywhere, teeth digging into the soft part of his arm as he tried not to make dirty, dirty sounds.

***

Kris came three more times before the session ended. He was exhausted and limp and seriously needed to sleep for a few days. He couldn’t imagine doing this again next week, but at the thought of having sex with Adam, his cock made another attempt to get hard and he was so glad when he was too drained to actually get it up again.

Adam pretty much pulled his robe on him and then helped him get into the dressing area. He closed the door and then settled Kris on the couch. He didn’t even laugh when Kris winced, turning on his side when his bottom hit the cushion, the soreness of five hours of sex catching up with him.

“Sorry,” Adam murmured, running his hand over Kris’s head. “Do you want some water?”

“Yes. Please?”

He chuckled softly and patted Kris on the shoulder, leaving the room. Kris opened his eyes sleepily when he felt Adam shaking his arm. “What?”

“Come on, I let you nap for about twenty minutes, but you should get dressed and head back to your place,” Adam said, kindly. “I left your water bottle over there. Do you—do you want me to help you, um, put your clothes on?”

Kris blushed and shook his head, not able to meet Adam’s eyes. “It’s cool, man, thanks for getting me here. I can manage.”

Adam stood up and Kris turned so that he was sitting up, balanced on one side of his body. He wasn’t quite sure if he was ready to sit down properly. “Did I hurt you?”

“What?” Kris said, looking up at him as he reached for his clothes.

“Did I…did I hurt you? I’m sorry if I hurt you—“

“You didn’t,” he said, meeting Adam’s steady gaze. “I mean, I probably won’t sit down for a little bit but…I’m just a little sore, not, you know, hurt?”

“Don’t forget to, um, make sure you wash and clean yourself when you get home. You might want to take a long hot bath. If you…notice any blood, go to the emergency clinic on campus. They’ll know how to take care of you.”

Kris bit his lip and ran his hand over his head. “Okay. Thanks.”

“I’ll see you on Tuesday?”

He looked up to see Adam standing by the door, looking really kind of…self-conscious. His hand was knuckle white as he clutched the strap to his backpack and Kris wondered if Adam felt even just a little bit of what Kris felt: lost, dazed, sated, a bit mortified but at the same time free and loose and pleased.

He managed to put a smile on his face as he held his shirt in his hands. “Okay.”

***

 **Art Studio  
Tuesday **

Kris was relieved that Tuesdays weren’t penetration sessions. All he and Adam had to do was get into an interesting position and hold it for 30 minutes. When they met in the dressing area, Adam had asked if he was okay and Kris had mumbled something incoherent that meant he was fine. He didn’t need to go to the emergency clinic – thank the Lord – and he was too embarrassed to admit that he had spent a long time with his leg propped up on the sink and a mirror underneath him, looking at his sore and pink and slightly swollen and very sensitive opening. Just slipping his own fingers over it made him shiver and get hard. He also wasn’t going to admit that his body had reverted to when he was sixteen, getting hard instantaneously at the idea of seeing Adam again.

Adam had him on his hands and knees, one hand curled over his shoulder, his cock fitting snugly against his butt cheeks. There was no way that anyone would miss how hard Kris was, but he wasn’t going to feel embarrassed at the way his body responded to Adam’s touch.

For one blushing moment, Kris thought Adam was looking at his opening and checking to see that he was okay. It made him tingle and tremble, wondering what Adam’s face looked like as he checked him over.

The next position was kind of silly. Adam was on his back, his feet on the mattress, thighs spread apart as Kris kind of sitting down on top of him, like he was a human chair, with his own feet on the mattress by Adam’s sides, legs bent, and Adam holding him up with his hands wrapped around Kris’s ankles. Kris hooked his arms behind Adam’s propped up thighs, trying to hold his weight off of Adam’s groin area. Of all the different positions that they took, Kris couldn’t meet Adam’s gaze because he was so spread open, his hard cock pretty much pulsing pre-come against his belly.

Sometimes, Kris walked around the studio during their breaks, looking at the sketches that the students made of them. He had gotten on friendly terms with a few of the students – funny Cale and shy Torres and enthusiastic art prodigy Allison, who was only 18-years old Kris found out later (“It’s cool, bro, I totally have a permission slip from both of my parents to take this class”) – and he was really awed by their talent. He was starting to learn how to distance himself from being the subject of the sketches, his eyes taking in the lines of Adam’s body, the way his thigh was perched on Adam’s hip, or the way that his toes were curled.

Of course, no matter what he did, Kris didn’t know how to distance himself from Adam. He found himself looking forward to each session – especially the Thursday sessions – even though they left him drained and feeling kind of loopy and stupid. And Adam was always so good about taking care of him, making sure that he covered them with the extra sheet at the end of the five hour session, giving him some time to come down off his pleasure high, giving them an aura of professional discretion as the students thanked them on their way out.

He was a limp mess, fingers curling in his hair as he just stared up at the ceiling, forgetting how to do anything but breathe and ache for more as Adam and Simon critiqued the sketches and drawings, their voices soft and comforting, neither of them giving Kris any kind of grief for needing the time to just…recover.

***

Kris found himself staring off in the distance at various times of the day when he wasn’t in session with Adam. Once, he was sitting under a tree, music sheet on his lap, staring off into space and thinking about the way that Adam grunted under his breath when he came. Kris was resigned to the fact that he was kind of loud and the more sessions he had with Adam, the more uninhibited he became.

So he found it really weird when he saw Adam with his friends, laughing and talking loudly together as they crossed the lawn, walking from one building to another. Adam attracted attention wherever he went and Kris kind of ducked low, covering his face with his sheet music – as if Adam would even notice him anyway – and watched as the hottest guy at UC-Berkeley strutted his stuff with a confidence borne out of true self-awareness. Kris was a little jealous of the way that Adam was so easy in his skin. He bit his lip when he saw Adam wrap his arm around a pretty and short guy with spiky blond hair. He watched as Adam laughed, nuzzling the guy just under his ear, his hand tucked into his back pocket.

***


	3. Chapter 3

**Practice Room 415  
School of Music **

Something wasn’t working with the melody and Kris couldn’t figure it out. He had spent the past two weeks working on the new song and he hated every note, every lyric that he had written. He needed at least 10-12 songs for his demo album to show his musical range with the piano and guitar. He even considered putting in the viola somehow, but decided that it was going to be too complicated or hokey or pretentious.

He closed his eyes and played scales on the piano, trying to jog that creative part of his brain, something that would inspire him, some combination of notes that would put him back on track.

Nope. It wasn’t going to be today.

Sighing, he let his fingers play a series of flats, wincing at the sound until he wanted to slam his forehead on the keys. Instead, he placed his forehead on top of the baby grand and closed his eyes, letting his fingers move up and down the keys, trying out familiar melodies, things that he had worked on before, letting the music critic in him stew for a little bit.

“Hey.”

Kris lifted his head and then sat up on the piano bench, staring owlishly at Adam. “Adam. Hi.”

“What’re you working on?”

He chuckled and let out a deep breath. “Right now, just a bunch of crap.”

Adam walked closer to him and leaned on the side of the piano, smiling widely. “Come on, I don’t believe that. Play something—play something for me, something that you like.”

“Well…um, okay,” he murmured, biting his lip as he thought about which song that he’d play for Adam. He…he wanted to impress Adam. He wanted Adam to think he was good. Feeling his face flush, he ducked his head and looked at the keys, his fingers moving to their positions, and he began playing the intro to a song he was tentatively calling “Bring it Back.”

 _“Unspoken in silence, let’s stay here tonight  
There’s no reason to ask me ‘cause you know what’s inside  
Don’t worry now, seasons will change  
Forgive my mouth, not letting you walk away _

_Take your love, bring it back, bring it back  
Think before you leave  
I forgot what love is, bring it back  
Tell me what you believe what’s fate’s been telling me…” _

Kris chuckled, not looking up at Adam, and played the placeholder melody to the second verse. “Something something something. I don’t have lyrics for this part yet.”

 _”Take your love, bring it back, bring it back  
Think before you leave  
I forgot what love is, bring it back  
Tell me that you believe…” _

He sighed, stopping. “I haven’t figured out the third verse yet.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Thanks.” Kris trailed his fingers down the keys and finally looked up to grin at him. He held his breath as Adam stared at him for a long moment.

“It’s kind of…sad. Melancholy? Hopeful, though. So it’s a break up song?”

Kris shook his head. “Not really. I mean, I don’t want it to be. I think it’s about two people who fell in love really young and for whatever reason, maybe because of distance – and it could be physical or emotional – they lost their connection and because of that, they’ve been fighting, but they don’t know if they’re fighting to stay together or to stay apart.” He grimaced, shrugging slightly. “And the singer is saying, I was wrong, don’t take your love away, bring it back, I’m sorry for being so stupid and don’t tell me it’s over yet, think about it before you break my heart.”

“It reminds me of something I saw on the freeway one time. I was driving on the 405 and I remember that it was just about sundown and the sky was red and orange and purple, so gorgeous, you know, and I saw this couple – they were dressed like they were headed for a fancy kind of dinner party – and they were on the side of the road screaming at each other. I always wondered what happened, if they got back in the car and drove together to the party, or if they were too broken to stay together.”

Kris bit his lip, his hand falling on the notebook beside him on the piano bench. He wanted to write it down and remember that image. There was _something_ just on the edge, Kris thought he was close – so close to finally getting that second verse.

“So do I get writing credit if you use that for your song?” Adam said, laughing.

“I’ll make sure to thank you in the liner notes.”

Adam made a dramatic pose with his hand over his heart and Kris chuckled. “Oh, Kristopher!”

“I never asked you what you’re majoring in.”

“Theater and drama! As if that’s a surprise,” Adam said, laughing deeply. Kris thought his face was so boyishly pretty when he laughed with his mouth opened and eyes crinkled up. “With a concentration on vocals. I sing, I dance, I act – I’ve had a few small roles in a couple of musicals, had my own show in some clubs in WeHo.” He leaned closer to Kris, his eyes widening and voice dropping low. “I want to be a rock star, but I don’t think anyone’s quite ready for an openly gay and out glam rock star with power vocals.”

Kris laughed, shaking his head. He leaned his arms on the piano and gazed up at him. “Okay, well, it’s your turn to sing for me.”

“Baby, I don’t turn down opportunities to perform,” Adam said, standing up straight and smirking at him.

 _”All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere_

 _And their tears are fillin’ up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow” _

Kris inhaled deeply, something deep inside of him reverberating with the way that Adam sang the song. He placed his fingers on the piano keys and looked up to watch him, taking his cues as he found the melody for Adam, picking up the song and following Adam’s tempo.

 _”And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I’m dyin’  
Are the best I’ve ever had_

 _I find it hard to tell you  
‘Cause I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It’s a very, very_

 _Mad world, mad world_

 _Children waitin’ for the day they feel good  
Happy birthday, happy birthday  
Made to feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen, sit and listen…” _

Kris lifted his hands off the keys and just sat there, looking at Adam for a long moment. Adam stared back, his cheeks flushed a little now, a small smile on his lips.

“You have freckles on your lip,” he whispered.

Adam quirked his lips into a wider smile. “Well, I’m really kind of a redhead.”

“I…I didn’t notice. Before.” He said, stupidly. He wanted to hit his head on the piano.

“Because I shave pretty much my entire body?” He said, chuckling softly.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard that song like that.”

“Is that good or bad?”

Kris gave him an incredulous look. “It’s good – in fact, it’s pretty kick awesome. You do have strong vocals. I’m surprised you haven’t already been signed.”

“Thank you, but it’s like I said, I don’t think America is ready for an out glam rock vocalist,” Adam said, shrugging his shoulders. “Not that it’s going to stop me from pursuing my dream. I know that if I got my music out there, to the right people, I’d be able to make it.”

“I believe you,” he said, utterly certain that Adam was going to become what he wanted.

“Thanks.” Adam chuckled, taking a deep breath. He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Well, I won’t keep you,” he murmured, giving Kris a smile. “See you Thursday?”

Kris nodded, dropping his eyes to look at the white piano keys. “Yeah.”

He watched as Adam turned and walked towards the door. “Oh! And good luck with the third verse. I promise not to sue you when you get famous and rich!”

Kris sighed, a little smile on his lips, his arms curled on top of the piano, his chin propped on his arms. Yeah, Kris was gone, totally gone. It was too late to go back to…whoever and whatever he was before meeting Adam. Kris knew he had feelings for Adam – strong feelings for Adam – and now, listening to him sing, his voice so rich with confidence and dense with melody and perfect with timing – Kris knew that he was gone for Adam, had pretty much fallen in love with him.

****

 **Art Studio  
Thursday **

“I’m just going to sit here for a little bit,” Kris told Adam, smiling shyly as he held his terrycloth robe together, sitting back on the small sofa in the dressing area.

“All right,” he said, grinning slightly. “I’ll see you next week.”

“Bye, Adam.” Kris called, waving his hand slightly. He waited for Adam to close the door behind him as he left the room. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the back of the sofa, breathing deeply.

Usually, he was good about waiting until he was back at his apartment, sprawled out on his bed, his hand wrapped around his cock and eyes closed, replaying every session during the last four weeks, finding the moments that were the hottest for him. But he couldn’t wait this time. He pushed open his robe, one foot propped up on the cushion, as his fingers probed his opening, jerking off quickly.

He whimpered when his fingers pushed inside and let out a loud moan as he went for it, hard and fast, hips jerking up so that he was fucking his hand. He loved it – loved it – when Adam would jerk him off. He didn’t do it often, preferring to keep that aspect of their sessions to Kris getting himself to come, but there were three times when Adam gave him that and Kris loved every single moment of it.

“Jesus, Kris.”

He opened his eyes to see Adam standing inside of the room, his eyes wide, hands clutching his back pack.

“Ad—Adam?”

“I—I forgot my vocal book and…” Adam trailed off, his eyes moving up and down, staring at Kris. “God, don’t fucking stop, Kris.”

Kris moaned, flinging his head back and moving his hips up and down, his fingers moving inside of him, still slick and open from his session earlier, hand twisting right at the head, wet with pre-come and giving him the best friction possible.

He jerked when he felt familiar hands on his thighs, opening him up even more. He stared at Adam, kneeling on the floor in front of him, licking his lips as he watched Kris.

“Let me—can I suck you?”

Kris groaned, dropping his hand off his cock. “Yes, please, yes!”

They had never done this in the sessions, but that didn’t mean that Kris didn’t dream about it, dream about how it would feel to have Adam’s mouth on his cock, licking and sucking him.

He made some kind of high pitched squeal when he felt Adam take him into his mouth, licking around the rim before he sucked hard, blue eyes bedroom sexy and looking up at him. Kris reached out and grabbed his hair, pushing his thighs apart even more, moaning when he felt Adam take him deep, right to the back of the throat, swallowing around him and swallowing around him so that Kris could feel the clench and release of his throat around the head of his cock.

“God, Adam!”

He can’t stop looking at Adam and Adam doesn’t take his eyes off of him either. This is something that they don’t do. They keep their distance, they’re professional about how they touch each other, even when they both come during sex.

“Adam…please…please…”

And Kris doesn’t ever beg, doesn’t moan Adam’s name, doesn’t ever ask for more.

He let out a pitiful sounding whine when Adam pulled his gorgeous mouth off his cock, moving up to kiss Kris, clever tongue sliding into Kris’s very willing mouth, the hand clutching Adam’s hair moving so that he was cupping the back of his head, holding him for the dirty, messy kiss. He didn’t want it to end. He squirmed and pulled his fingers out gently, wrapping his legs around Adam’s waist and pulling him closer, shuddering when he felt Adam’s hard cock under his jeans.

“Please, yes, please, please—“

“God, Kris—“

“Want you, want this—“

“Yeah, baby—“

Adam reached for his wallet, pulling out a condom and tossing it to Kris to open it. His fingers were slippery but he managed to get it open, watching as Adam undid his jeans, pushing them down to the middle of his thighs. His cock was red and hard and Adam took the condom from Kris’s numb fingers, rolling it down and groaning loudly. He grabbed Kris’s thighs, dragging him to the edge of the sofa and slipped the head of his cock against Kris’s opening and pushed in, hard and fast.

Kris bit his lip hard, tasting blood, and arched into Adam’s rough thrusts, still loose and slick from before. Adam held his legs back, nearly pressing his knees to his armpits, Kris hanging on to Adam’s t-shirt with one hand, the other grabbing the back of his knee, pulling his leg even further apart.

Adam kissed him again, panting harshly into his mouth, his hand curling around Kris’s cock and stroking him with tight, hard strokes, just on the edge of painful. But Kris was wired differently now and it only turned him on, making his cock drool like the way his mouth drool.

It was so rough, so ungraceful, nothing like the way that Adam fucked him during the sessions. His thrusts were sloppy and erratic, his breathing noisy and wheezy against his face. Kris clung to him and let out a throaty kind of scream as pleasure slammed into him, his cock jerking in Adam’s hand.

“Yes, baby, that’s good,” Adam crooned against his ear, teeth pressing against Kris’s sweaty neck. He grunted and let out a noisy sound of his own as he thrust hard into Kris, the sofa slamming into the wall and sliding across the linoleum floor. Adam bit Kris on the shoulder as he came, the streak of pain cutting through Kris’s pleasure.

They slumped on the sofa, Adam’s weight heavy on him. They never did this during the session. Adam was always so considerate, never falling on top of him and moving away and sometimes pulling the sheet over them so that Kris could take a moment for himself. But now, they were wrapped up around each other, messy and sweaty and dirty, come everywhere, parts of his body throbbing in pain and in pleasure. Kris swallowed, his breath hitching as Adam finally moved up on his elbows, blue eyes staring at him, wild and pleased and…scared.

Kris leaned forward and kissed him gently, just brushing his lips over Adam’s mouth, soothing the bite marks on his bottom lip. Adam broke out of his daze and he kissed Kris back, taking his time, tasting every inch of his mouth.

“I’ve been trying so hard,” Adam said, his voice cracking. “To be professional about this – about you. I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I met you and I knew that I couldn’t have you, not like this, not like I wanted because you were here to do a job and I wasn’t going to cross the line and I was trying to keep my professional distance when all I ever wanted to do was this and—and—“

“Shhhh,” Kris soothed, pressing his fingers on Adam’s lips. “I don’t have any regrets.”

Adam laughed and dropped his forehead on Kris’s chest. “God, Kris, you don’t even know. I just want to kiss you and make you moan and take you home to meet my mom.”

Something warm burst inside Kris’s chest, flooding him with the feeling of happiness and excitement. He squeezed his hand behind Adam’s neck and let out a muffled chuckle. “That’s good because I kind of feel the same way.”

Adam smiled at him and stroked his hand down Kris’s face. “Come back to my place with me.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

 

***

 **Adam Lambert’s Apartment**

Kris smiled at the ceiling.

He turned his head to see Adam sleeping with his face against the pillow, turned towards him, one long arm curled over Kris’s belly, one leg thrown over his thigh. It had been a long time since Kris shared a bed with someone and Kris loved how Adam was holding on to him even in sleep.

He smiled some more at the ceiling, his body sore everywhere. Adam, it turned out, was incredibly bossy in bed and liked it fast and rough. Kris had scratches and bite marks and fingerprint bruises all over his body and he loved every single one of them. It was so different from the Adam during the modeling sessions – so distant and professional, but gentle and considerate. Not that Adam wasn’t considerate in bed; he knew how much Kris could take and he liked making Kris beg for it and making him gasp in surprise.

Kris liked challenging Adam – he liked clenching around him and making Adam lose his rhythm, he liked it when Adam was noisy and said dirty, naughty things to him, and he liked how Adam wasn’t afraid of taking Kris to his limits. He liked seeing that predatory look in Adam’s eyes whenever Kris challenged him, the curl to his pretty lips as he growled at Kris and pounced on him.

It was so different than their sessions together. He and Adam connected when they were together. Some of the students commented that they were really happy to see the changes in their sessions.

 _”Yeah, it’s like you two are in synch now,” Cale drawled, his lips quirking into a smile._

 _Megan nodded. “Like you’re lovers in real life.” She watched as Kris blushed and her eyes widened. “OHMYGOD, you are lovers in real life, aren’t you? Aren’t you!”_

 _Brad narrowed his eyes at Kris and then looked at Adam. “Seriously, babe, he’s the one?”_

 _Adam grinned, holding Kris’s hand. “Mine, all mine.”_

 _Kris laughed, biting his upper lip._

 _“That explains why all the poses have been so intimate recently,” Lil said, wisely._

 _All of them nodded as Kris turned to look at Adam, both of them smiling widely at each other._

Adam growled, his hand slipping down to curl around Kris’s cock.

“Come on, Adam, I’m so sore,” Kris said, chuckling softly. He moaned when Adam tightened his hold, stroking Kris firmly. He hissed and arched into Adam’s hand and fell back on the bed. “All right, go ahead, I’ll just be right over here.”

Adam opened his eyes and lifted up on one elbow, staring down at Kris. “The day that you just lay in my bed and don’t participate is the day that I’m going to have to make things a little bit more interesting.”

Kris grinned and blinked up at him. “What do you mean, _more_ interesting?”

Adam chuckled and kissed his lips softly. “Bondage.”

“Bondage?”

“Mmm-hmmm…public sex.”

Kris snorted. “Uh, I think we already do that now.”

“Public sex in bondage clubs.”

He whimpered as Adam kissed down his neck, hand moving slowly up and down on his cock.

“It would turn me on so much to take you to one of those clubs,” Adam murmured, kissing down Kris’s chest, licking and biting his nipples. Kris shuddered, pushing his hands into Adam’s thick hair and pulling.

“Tie you down, and make you moan and squirm and whimper and scream for me…”

Kris giggled when Adam slipped his tongue into his belly button.

“With everyone watching and knowing that you’re all mine.”

“Oh Lord…” He sighed out, arching his back when Adam licked across the head of his cock, the feel of his wet and warm tongue almost causing Kris to come. He trembled, one of his legs moving out from under him and curling over his shoulder.

“But that’s for much, much later, baby. I don’t want to share you with anyone just yet. You make me greedy.”

Kris swallowed as Adam let go of his hard cock and moved over him, pushing his legs apart with his knees. He licked his lips and stroked his hands down Adam’s back. “Come on…Adam, please…”

Adam grinned down at him, the smile playful and boyish for just a moment. “I’m so glad you took this modeling job. I don’t think I would’ve ever met you and I’d be lonely and—“

“Come on, everyone wants you,” he said, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“But I don’t want everyone, I just want you.”

And that made Kris smile and blush and go hot all at once. He moved up and kissed Adam’s mouth, slipping his tongue between his lips to tangle with Adam’s. He moaned when he felt one of Adam’s hands up his back, massaging the nape of his neck, and push into his hair. He gasped, breaking the kiss and closing his eyes when he felt Adam pull his head back roughly. Adam chuckled and Kris opened his eyes, the boyishness gone and replaced with the predator. Kris shivered, his smile shaky with want.

“You’re not too sore, are you, baby?”

Kris laughed and wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck, nipping at his earlobe. “I’m ready for you.”

And this time, he really was ready.


	4. Epilogue

**Epilogue – The Road Ahead**

Being out in the real world was kind of a shock, but Kris was starting to enjoy being a new college graduate. He was excited to get out there and start making music. He had already lined up a two-night gig at a local bar where he could play a five-song set. It was just a few blocks from the Berkeley campus and the college crowd was friendly, if a little too drunk to really appreciate the nuances of every song Kris performed, but he liked that they didn’t boo him off the stage.

 _”Not like anyone would boo you off the stage, baby,” Adam said, hugging him close after his set._

 _Kris grinned at him. “Even when I forgot the words to ‘Hey Jude’?”_

 _Adam snickered, nuzzling his neck. “I think they thought it was cute when you started blushing.”_

Professor Abdul kept her promise and introduced him to a friend of hers, a producer named Randy who was keeping it real and helping Kris find his music. Every day in the studio was hard work, emotional highs and lows, but Kris loved it and he wasn’t going to trade it in for anything. Adam found work in local theaters, even though he wasn’t the lead, but Kris knew that his boyfriend – _boyfriend!_ – was going to become a rock star in his future.

And, okay, the best thing about being out in the real world was _living_ with Adam. Sure they were sharing a three bedroom apartment in West Hollywood with four other roommates but they got the biggest room and their own bathroom. Win!

He loved that Adam was a morning person. No matter what time they went to bed, Adam was up at the first crack of sunlight – sunny, cheerful, loud, and affectionate – and he made coffee for Kris and was pretty inventive with all the ways to wake up Kris in the mornings.

 _”Sore,” Kris whined, digging his hands into Adam’s hair._

 _Adam chuckled as he licked across Kris’s hip. “You say that you’re sore, but I know you’re not.”_

 _Kris whimpered, tucking his face against the pillow. “Too early for sex, Adam.”_

 _“It is never too early for sex, Kristopher!” Adam said, wrapping his mouth around Kris’s semi-hard cock and sucking hard and deep and wet._

 _He moaned, torn between trying to convince himself that this was just another really erotic wet dream and waking up to fully enjoy Adam’s version of the human alarm clock._

 _“Mmmmm…still sleepy,” Kris murmured, licking his lips and arching his hips._

 _He let out a warbled scream when Adam pressed his finger inside of him. Kris nearly squeezed off Adam’s head between his thighs and opened his eyes, grabbing for the bed sheets as Adam’s long finger wiggled against his prostate._

 _Adam laughed around his mouthful, grabbing at Kris’s knees and pushing them apart. His face was red and flushed as he sat back, smiling down at Kris._

 _“A little warning!” Kris said, narrowing his eyes and pouting._

 _He snickered and leaned forward to give Kris a sweet kiss on the lips. “Wake up, pretty boy. Wake up. Wake up.”_

 _Kris sighed, smiling a little as he looked into Adam’s playful, happy eyes. “All right, I’m awake.”_

 _Adam’s playful, happy eyes gave way to the predator and Kris let out a laugh when Adam pounced on him._

All in all, Kris was the happiest he’d ever been in his life. Some days, he’d wander around with a stupid smile on his face – he probably looked like a total dork – but he didn’t care because he had his music and he had Adam and all was right in his world.

***

“Look! Alli invited us to her first gallery showing!” Adam said, crashing on the bed beside him and making the whole bed shake as Kris laughed, trying to keep his guitar from falling off the mattress.

Adam held out the very formal looking invitation and Kris smiled, looking it over.

“We have to go,” Kris said, nodding with Adam. “This is so amazing for her!”

“She always was Simon’s favorite,” he said, falling on the pillows and letting out a happy sigh. “And I loved her drawings the best.”

Kris looked up on the wall by the closet at the small framed drawing of their last session together. It was a gift from Allison and was beautifully drawn with charcoal on newsprint paper. There was nothing explicit about the drawing, but the lines and the shading of their bodies pressed together was simple and beautiful.

“We should bring her flowers,” he said, scooting down on the bed so that he could curl against Adam’s warmth.

“Hmmm,” Adam murmured, wrapping his arm around Kris’s back and pressing a kiss on his forehead. “Yellow roses.”

***

 **The Freer Gallery  
Los Angeles **

Kris stared at the wall sized canvas, his mouth open and all breath sucked out of his lungs. Allison had taken one of her drawings and turned it into an oil painting masterpiece…and she didn’t hide the fact that she knew how to paint male anatomy.

“Wow, it’s so realistic,” Adam whispered to him, blinking at the painting. “Like I could totally lick your cock in that painting and I’d taste you. It’s like I can feel you opening around the head of my cock.”

Kris swallowed and nodded. “I swear that I can feel you…doing that to me.”

Adam made a whimpery sound in the back of his throat. “I’m going to get us something to drink.” And completely abandoned Kris in front of the painting.

“KRISTOPHER ALLEN!”

He blushed to his ears as Allison yelled his name from across the gallery. She let out a squeal and ran towards him, jumping into his arms and giggling into his ear.

“Do you love it? Ohmygod, it took me two months working non-stop to paint that!”

“It’s, uh, very, um, lifelike?”

“You bet your sweet little ass it’s lifelike!” She said, her voice deep and husky. “And look, it’s already sold!”

She pointed to the yellow sticker on the name plate beside the painting. Kris’s eyes widened. _Who on earth would want to buy a painting of him and Adam naked?_

“Wow…congratulations, Alli.”

“Do you want to know how much it sold for?” She said, her dark eyes glittering with amusement. “Twenty grand!”

“What!” Adam shrieked, holding two champagne flutes in his hands.

Kris grabbed the glass and drank down the champagne in one long swallow. Adam made a growly sound as he stared at Kris’s opened mouth. He squeaked and tugged at his shirt collar, feeling his neck turning red at Adam’s lustful gaze.

Allison turned and hugged Adam, nearly lifting the taller man into the air with her enthusiasm. She laughed again, looking from Adam’s shocked face to Kris’s red face. “You guys are just too cool, man. I love you both. And if you ever want to pose for me, let me know! I want to do a whole series of you both! I think there’s a market in it, you know? Okay, I see Simon signaling me from across the room – probably wants me to kiss ass to a potential patron or something – so I’ll see you two later! I’m so glad you came! Bye!”

And she was off after blowing them kisses.

Kris sighed and smiled up at Adam. He wrapped his arm around Adam’s waist and they stood in front of the painting, staring at it together. It really was beautiful.

“Who do you think bought it?”

Adam shrugged. “Maybe Alli will tell us later.”

“You’re really gorgeous,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss on the base of Adam’s neck.

“No, you’re the gorgeous one. Look at your face! She caught you right before you come.” Adam pointed at the painting.

Kris laughed and hid his face against Adam’s shoulder. “Shhhh! You don’t have to point it out. I think it’s pretty obvious.”

“I love seeing you like this,” he said, smiling against Kris’s hair. “If I had the money, I’d buy this painting and put it in our living room!”

Kris laughed, looking at him. “No way! Especially not when we have family over!”

Adam snickered and kissed his lips. “Okay, then in our bedroom.”

“Mmmm.”

“Our special playroom,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Kris laughed and hugged him. “Only you would want to have a designated special playroom in the house.”

“Come on, let’s go look at the other stuff,” Adam said, taking Kris’s hand and leading him away from the large canvas to look at some of Allison’s smaller pieces.

“Maybe she could give us a print of that painting, you know?”

Adam kissed his hand. “If we ask, I’m sure she’ll paint us our own.”

Kris thought he was right.

“You know…I was talking to Brad and Cassidy, you know, from the senior seminar class,” Adam said, thoughtfully. He smiled when Kris turned and looked up at him. “Theater’s great but it’s not going to get me where I want to go.”

“Okay…then what do you want to do?”

“I’m thinking about auditioning for _American Idol_.”

Kris gasped and smiled, nodding fervently. “Yes! Adam, yes! Do it!”

“I don’t care if America’s not ready for an out glam rock star – I’m going to _make_ them ready for me,” Adam murmured, pulling Kris closer and hugging him.

Kris bounced on his heels. “Adam, you’ll be awesome! You’ll totally blow them away. They won’t see you coming!”

“No, just you, baby.” Adam grinned and moved them to a quiet corner of the gallery. “And when you’re not on tour, you’ll go on tour with me and I’ll keep you tied up in our bed, go out and sing for thousands of people, and then come back and fuck you all night long. And when you go on tour, I’ll follow you and you can do anything you want to me.”

Kris laughed, licking his lips and standing on his toes to kiss Adam’s ear. “I can totally live with that, rock star.”

 

The End.


End file.
